Feeding the Narcissist

We all know people who require constant attention and affirmation--so much so that supporting and propping them up can even feel like a second job.

And no one's talking about restaurant food here. What narcissists really need is something psychologists call "emotional supplies." People who feel defective or empty are everywhere - and they suffer deeply. Most spend their days attempting to shore themselves up, maintain self-esteem, and garner enough external emotional support to make it through the day without feeling they will fall apart. This self-focus and preoccupation is what makes narcissists seem selfish, even arrogant.

But appearances do not tell the whole story. What looks like bravado or conceit often masks an underlying insecurity.

Everyone loves a compliment. Who doesn’t like to be praised and adored. Who doesn’t want to be honoured.

Your self esteem is very much important. Feeling good about yourself is a wonderful experience. In fact, compliments have been known to aid a healthy lifestyle. So having other people voice out how wonderful, beautiful and awesome you are is even a big plus.

However, things become interesting when you begin to fish for compliments. 

Do you know that your crave for praise and compliment, though genuine,  can cause a drastic effect and shape your world in ways you never imagined?

You are hurting your relationships:

The more you keep fishing for compliments, the more you appear to be old and needy.

When you constantly seek the validation of others to feel worthy and happy, you constantly put pressure on your family, friends, colleagues and loved ones to make you feel happy. 

Too much of everything isn’t good so what turns out to be be sweet and awesome, turns into hatred and disdain.

Love is never forceful. Happiness isn’t external. You don’t need the validation of others to be significant. You don’t need the permission of others to feel worthy.

You are hurting your self esteem:

If you can’t be happy or feel good about yourself without hearing from others.  You can’t do the best at work without someone saying that you did a good job or you need the compliments of others to feel loved, then you are hurting your self esteem.

When you hurt your self esteem, you are hurting your existence. You are making your thoughts lie about you.

Each time you seek for validation, you give power to others to define your existence. You give them permission to write your own story.

You are special because you have so much inside to make a difference. Your existence lights your world and you matter to your generation.

By being you, there are people whose lives you will definitely change for the better. 

Do you know that fishing for more compliments doesn’t make you feel better about yourself?

Think about it! That is the more reason why you seek more compliments.

The more compliments you seek, the more you become addicted to hearing more compliments.

Standing on the shoulders of compliments to make a difference in your life is limiting yourself plus your existence.

You are powerful beyond measure which is why compliments should never replace your inner drivers (passion, purpose and God-given gifts)